leaveten's Diaryland Diary

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..asshole?

So this argument I seem to have a lot with people. Girls.

NO, you sadfuck, I am in fact, not like you. Don't assume things about me. Ever. I hate that. More than you could imagine. Don't tell me what I would or would not do. Don't even start.

Unlike whoever the fuck it is that seems to be disagreeing with me and making the assumptions I mentioned earlier, I do hate the sweet bullshit. Are you kidding me? LMFAOOOOOO. Don't tell me that if a guy where to come up to me and get straight to the point I'd call him an asshole. That's what you'd do. Let me clue you in, I'm not you, no matter how many other people are. Accept it, embrace it.

I'm not interested in hearing baby, we'll be together forever from some dumb ass that's looking to get laid or just has some sort of lust thing. Don't promise me shit like that because you don't know who you're going to be. I don't want a liar. I don't want to hear pretty things because thats what for some reason this society feels they have to say. Guess what? You're in love with a lie idiot. You're fucking boyfriend is a LIAR. And you're okay with that, as long as it sounds good. Now if he lies about something like where he's going, then suddenly, lying is a bad thing. Don't contradict yourself.

Another thing, why does everyone have to make such a big fucking deal about forever? What's so good about forever? What exactly is the fascinating aspect of it? What's wrong with right now? Why can't anyone be satisfied with right now? I want to love someone right now and tell them that and be okay with it. I mean no one wants to hear "hey I'm only with you for a little bit then we're going our separate ways" but shit, I don't want to hear some bull either. What ever happened to loving someone UNCONDITIONALLY? That's whats sad about it all. We just loveeeee our pretty lies. Well I don't. I'm in love right now and that's fine by me. And I don't know what's going to happen 10 years, 5, 1, or even 6 days from now, and I don't care. I don't care because that doesn't matter. I'm in love right now and that's enough for me. That's good enough. Wouldn't it be nice to know that loving someone right now is good enough? That maybe 20 years later you're with some other guy, but at least this moment you felt something other than anxieties from your precluded plans. Way to waste your life. Picking out names for kids you don't even know you're going to have with someone you don't even know you're going to like. That's why married people are miserable. Don't even deny it. They are. Because they promised eachother every day for the rest of their lives, when the only promise they could make was in a moment. So when that moment goes away, they can't leave. Suddenly they've imprisoned themselves with their promise. A jail suit, a wedding ring.

If that's what you want, then have it. I think there's already so much to say about every second, you don't need to make up ideals for a future you might not have.

And no, I don't want to be lied to. The truth hurts, yeah, but I think you're an asshole by not telling it. You're in asshole if you're honest in a rude way, yes. But not if you're just honest. I'm actually into that.

That's why I'm proud of what I have, I have this minute, this second, and everything about it is so perfect, so endless, so infinite, I don't need to worry about the next. I'll take things as they come.

11:52 pm - 01-06-07

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