leaveten's Diaryland Diary

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old stuff.

09.13.06

When I was younger, I was always taught "a girl can dream". Well suppose I just woke up. A few months back, you used to look at me, and you'd say Baby I'll love you to the moon and back again, We'll be together always and forever I'd look back and say Always and forever, forever and always. We were inseperabe. You and me. Like the sun and the sky. A fact beyond fiction. A lie I believed. Remember that, babe? And I used to think wow, this one's different, this time we're gonna make it, you love me and I love you and so what? So what? You're over there, and I'm over here, and you hates me because of damage I've done to you, and I hate you because of damage you've done to me. And yes, you can sit there and ask me if I love you, and of course, the answer's "yes", and you think you've asked something real, and I'll think I've said something real. You think because you throw the word love around like a frisbee that I'm all going to get warm and runny. No. Something happened to us. You love me so much, you stop noticing I'm even there, because you're so busy "loving" me. You love me so much, your love is a gun, and you fire it straight into my head. You kill you with it. And I love you so much suddenly I'm paranoid. Suddenly I'm starting to think you're leaving me and I cant bare the thought. Now I'm so scared of you going away it's killing me inside. But no, I love you. And you love me so much I go right into the hospital. Yeah, I'm sure you love me. Yeah, I know I once loved you too. And I know the one thing you learn when you grow up is that love is not enough. It's too much, and it's not enough.

9.10.06 03:18 pm
Why does everyone feel the need to cling onto the first person who shows them the slightest bit attention? Lonliness is a human condition. Mistaken attraction is a common misconseption. You're not in love, you just want to be. It's easy to fall for the first person who falls for you, it's difficult to work for a mutual bond. People are lazy yet strangely restless. Constantly searching for something chances are they'll never find. Men are versitile. In your mind your in a beautiful world, in reality you're mearly blind. Relationships are too easy.

5/25/06 05:00 pm

- when you leave me, ill still love you..
I'll love you no matter how much it rains in your eyes, and I won't be the one to sit there and watch you cry, I'll be the one that makes all your tears fade away. And I'll love you even when its dark outside. I'll hold your hand and help you get by. And if we run into danger, I wont be the one to protect you, I'll be the one to work with you by my side. And I'll love you when your moulth is sealed shut, and when you cant get it to close. And I wont always love to hear your voice, but I'll always listen to it because I will always love to know its yours and you're there. And I'll love you when you say you hate me, when you hurt me, I'll withstand it because I'll know its only a small part of you who's like that, and I'll wait till your sweet self breaks out again. And I'll love it. Always. I'll love it. And I wont be the one you spend your life with, cause me and you are in an imperfect world that's meant to change us, but as long as I am me and you are you I'll love you. And I'll remind you every time I see you, every time I'm reminded of your summertime smile, and your beautiful eyes. That's when I'll love you. And when it fades away, I wont forget you, I wont regret you, no matter what you do or how it ends. Because the person that I am now see's through different eyes than the person you break up with or thats breaks up with you. And I'm sorry for who I become and how I hurt you, and I will. But I thank you for loving me back even when you dont. For teaching me what's its like to feel so close to someone so far. For showing me how different things can be. And finally thanks for contributing to why it'll hurt so much in the end, because it was so great in the begining. And I wont lie to you because its love and love doesnt lie, we're not gonna last forever. But thanks anyway.

8:24 pm - 04-12-07

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