leaveten's Diaryland Diary

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thoughts

People are what they are. There is no all. Not everyone is the same and in turn not everyone is different. We are born with the same oppertunity but with different restraints. You chose your own path and it never has to be the one that's already chosen. Everything is only as you make it out to be. Treat the bad as if its good and you will have created, in your eyes, an ongoing greatness. If you look for conflict, then you will find your own self proclaimed conflict. We are both the cause and solution of nearly every problem, but not in the most obvious ways. All parts of the brain are used, but those who accomplish use them in different ways. Consider the outcome and your oppertunities. You might not even know how many you have.

Friendship. I don't believe in extended dependency, as well as minimized trust. People bring on expirience, and with that we live. But I do think most bonds have an end and there's a limitation to every form of a relationship. Friends are amazing to have, apprehensive to keep, difficult to trust, content to rely on, but destructive to depend on.

Happiness. for me it's something I find in the color blue and stars. I don't try to make myself cry over some insignificant situation, but when I do cry, it's a good thing. I think that needs to be released. I think in the end it all depends on you. I also think that things have been built up so much people have gotten used to everything. Every person you pass by has a story to tell that could change you. Every rock has probably seen more than most. Every color has lived longer. To me, that's beautiful. I like to learn. To me it's those things that make happiness.


Words are built up with meaning. I write my own dictionary and the definitions are made up depending on the situation. Oscar Wilde said "To define is to limit." In my opinion he's beyond correct. Manipulation of words is amazing. How you grow up hearing happy and seeing what others are happy from, there for you are happy for the same sort of things. Grow up completely without the world and see who you'd be. I don't want to give feelings names because then I'm limiting them to only be whatever that word is. What if there isn't enough words? And only you can feel how you do, so why should you say the same word everyone else does? It's your feeling, what's yours doesn't belong in a dictionary unless you were the one that wrote it. Who says you have to be smiling to feel good? Or know a lot to be smart? Why does it have to be weird to say hello to every stranger you meet and have a conversation with some? Why are those people weird? Why is it bad to trust? Who set up the rules on what's good and what's bad? Why did they pick those? Had things been different then would we be able to grow up feeling sorrow in laughter? It's beyond comprehention and complication. Speechless is the best way to be. Sometimes it's only silence that can speak so loud is screaming. Silence is the only sound you'll find that be infinitly consistant.

Fate is a limitation. I think it's lack of control over yourself. I don't think my destiny is sealed and everything happens for a reason. I think there's a reason for everything that happens. But not that everything happens for a reason. I'm sorry but that's the best I can explain that. Just remember it and I promise you'll end up getting it, even if you don't agree.

Love is understood. If that is what you want then go find it. Best wishes. I want something to call my own. Like I said, I don't want it in a dictionary and I don't want it in movies or highschools. I want something impossible to recreate. Something that says so much in how you feel you don't need to hear or say words to express it. Love is awesome. I know. But I'm beyond that at this point. I'm bored of it. I'm past it. And that's not sad, if that's what you're thinking. Because I'm finding something else. Something limitless. I like this concept a lot more than love.

11:24 pm - 03-21-07

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