leaveten's Diaryland Diary


how far I've come.

I used to think that I wasn't special. I remember saying, "I'm not that pretty, and I'm not that smart- I'm nothing special." I guess without realizing it I stopped thinking this way. I stopped worrying about being "the second best" friend. I didn't even do it consciously. I guess I realized that I am smart, and I started to work harder so that it really shows. I'm living up to my potential (or closer to it perhaps) and I might not always feel pretty, but I definitely am more comfortable with myself than I used to be. Sometimes I even feel really pretty. As for being "second best", I think I stopped seeing the world as a competition (which is the only place "second best" belongs). I stopped comparing myself to everyone else. Which I never knew I could do! But I did. Because when I was doing that, I was miserable. I'm really proud of myself in this moment. I like myself. I never used to like myself. I would've wanted to be anyone else. But now, I like myself. And I couldn't be happier.

4:28 am - 12-16-14


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