leaveten's Diaryland Diary


this is for.

This is for whoever listens to the pointless crap we tend to say. And the brave and the good hearted. For every childhood memory anyone has ever forgotten, for the pointless days we spend yearning for some happiness thats only truly found in ways that don't exist; ways that can and do go unrecognized. This for that point in time we discovered that we, as people, are oblivious. For those moments that just didn't go the way they should, and for every time you've about how if only you had done something different, for the few fatal times you went wrong. This is for every second you wish you could take back, for every time time itself did you wrong and threw you in two seconds too late or two years too early. For every event that's given anyone a reason to acknowledge hope, and for every person that's taken that hope away from us. This is for the teenage years where growing up meant so much. For every girl thats had her heart broken, for every boy who didn't and did mean to break it. For every lie we've ever told and every time someone believed us. For every time they lied right back. For that once close friend you call a backstabber. For every relationship you've never had. For every time that everything you thought and did were carelessly passed off as the insignificant. This is for every book we've been assigned to read but never really opened. For every essay we'll forget we've written. For every dream that's been crushed along with every bit of ambition you've once lost in a letter grade you spent so many nights trying to change. For everyone who had a secret and everyone who couldn't keep it. For those of us who felt alone, for the sick, for the silent, for the crazy, for the stupid, for the judged and the seemingly unjudged, this for those of us that went in strong like soldiers and came out like we hoped we wouldn't. For those of us who found meaning in the uselessness of blind ambition. This is for that boy that cuts himself and doesn't talk about it and the girl that doesn't know she's the reason why he does it. For every scar that goes unseen. For every feeling we make out to be unfelt. For every kiss you'll ever have. For every fuck you wish you didn't. This is for the best that stood up on that stage to say goodbye to the beginning, and hello to the end. For the graduates that mastered every subject, except themselves. The one's that spent four of the five years they're given for adolescence locked up in their rooms attempting to every formula their books had to offer, most of which have learned that their efforts will never seem as meaningful as they should. Those of us who struggled so hard for so long for a piece of paper accepting them into their school the way the others in their current school didn't accept them. For when they realized an acceptance letter was no more than a further advocate for their destruction. For every kid that has truly defined the phrase "hard worker." This is for those who failed to reach standards they felt forced to achieve. For those who didn't try and those who didn't make it. For those of us who said we didn't care when we did. For when we didn't even know that we did. For those who fought with every bit of themselves and in turn lost it all. For those who didn't fight for reasons outside anyone's business but inside everyones conversations. This is for every dance you've ever been to. For every date you've ever had. For every time you lived and you meant it. For every second of every day that you wish could just go a little faster, and for every time you've thought about wanting those seconds back. Every year that had you yearning for the end. Every silence that seemed best spoken. Every person you said you'll never let go of. And every person that's let go of you. For every friend that will come to exist in nothing more than stories you tell your kids. For every person you thought was that one special person you'd spend forever with. For every time you thought this was it. This was right. For when it mattered. This is my tribute to the days that came and went like they didn't. To every story ever told, and every memory left untold. This is my tribute to the turning point. The reason behind all my, or your, or everyones mourning and the reason we know we're alive. This is for every breath we've ever taken. This for changes and the contribution's to it. This is for what matters most. This is for us.

8:25 pm - 03-03-07


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