leaveten's Diaryland Diary

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God.

Dear God,
This is probably not a good time for me to be writing to you, it's actually probably completely an inappropriate time. I honestly usually think more about what I'm writing and do more editing, and make sure I don't have run on sentences like this one but I want this letter to be as honest as possible- which means I'm going to write it like I think it. There are so many questions I wish I could ask you. But I think the best place to start is by talking about my opinions, and thoughts of what might be going on in your mind.

The first thing that comes to mind, really, is the devil. I don't really believe in that. I don't think there is a hell. I think you would forgive people for everything they've done wrong, because they didn't know any better that what they knew- and some of what they knew made them do bad things, and they had to have had a reason for doing those bad things, and who am I to say whether or not those reasons were legitimate? Maybe you can say whether or not they were legitimate, but I hope you're not judgmental. Not in a bad way, just in a I hope you don't think bad things about people who thought their reasons for doing bad things wasn't bad. That didn't make sense- I like to think you know what I mean anyway.

I also hope you let animals into heaven. I hope Lily goes to heaven, and I hope that cat I saw dying on the Old Road goes to heaven, and I hope that dog that was run over also is in heaven. I hope they forget that pain they were in.

I want to apologize. Not just to you, but to a lot of people, but I can't really apologize to them because I don't know all of them. I want to apologize to everyone I've ever said anything bad about, everyone I didn't forgive, everyone I've hurt-even when I didn't mean to, everyone I've lied to, and everything else I can't really think of.

That's basically it for now. I have a lot more to say but it's late and just not coming to me. I love you. Goodnight.

1:58 am - 08-30-09

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